I've been missing Buffalo a lot lately. The people, the places, the experiences, the food (duh). But the weird thing is that even if I were in the U.S. right now, I'd be in Oneonta, not Buffalo. Which got me thinking...where's home and where do I belong? On Monday, something that someone said got me thinking even more, but I'll explain that in a little while. What is "belonging"? The concepts of "home" and "belonging" go hand-in-hand in my opinion. So I decided to do some reading on belonging. The first thing I read were Google's definitions of "belong" and "belonging." As expected, they were too technical. The closest one to the type of "belonging" that I'm talking about is probably "(of a person) have an affinity for a specified place or situation." Another one, having "the right personal or social qualities to be a member of a particular group", is definitely an important aspect of belonging, but doesn't explain the whole word. Merriam Webster gave me, "close or intimate relationship", which is also relevant, but still not what I'm looking for. After doing some more Googling, I found several sites that explain belonging from more of a psychology standpoint. All of the sites I looked at said that belonging is "being accepted as a member or part of something". So I asked myself, 'do I feel accepted in Norwegian society? The answer is generally, yes. I did a class project with a group of Norwegians who all made me feel accepted. In fact, I could see several ways in which we are similar. When I ask a Norwegian if they speak English, many respond by saying "Yes, I'm sorry!" and start talking to me in English. They are apologetic about it and are never resentful that I am asking them to speak their second language (which blows my mind to this day). My profesors at the University of Oslo made me feel very welcome so I have always felt like I fit in as an exchange student. Then why, despite feeling accepted, do I know that I could never truly belong in Norway? And, more importantly, after living in four different cities over the past four years, how do I know where I do belong? I was inspired to try to answer these questions on Monday night, when I attended the opening show of the Oslo World Music Festival. Before the music started, the festival director spoke about the theme of the festival; belonging. She talked about her mixed heritage, having spent some of her life in Argentina and some in Norway, and how that has shaped her sense of belonging. After many years of confusion and consideration, she has come to the conclusion that her belonging is not something she bases on geography. Once Chango Spasiuk took the stage, my mind was whirring with thoughts about my sense of belonging. It helped that his beautiful chamamé music provided a perfect soundtrack for reflective thought. Here's what I came up with: I don't belong in Norway, or Europe for that matter (at least not now). Don't get me wrong...I love Norway, I loved Sweden, I loved Denmark and I'm sure I will be able to say the same about Ireland and England after visiting in a couple of weeks. But living abroad is not something I feel like I could do for an extended period of time. There are just too many things that I miss about American culture and my life in the U.S. These things are hard to explain, but easily felt. My sense of belonging has a lot to do with geography. The other day, I had a conversation with my flatmate Sean who is from Chicago. He intends on living in or near Chicago after college. Not because he loves Chicago so much he can't imagine leaving, but because of who is in Chicago; his girlfriend, his band, his friends, etc. I've come to the conclusion that geography matters more to my sense of belonging than it does to Sean's or to the festival director's. Being close to my friends and family is incredibly important to me, but I also associate so many memories and feelings with specific places. So much of my well-being is influenced by my surroundings. Geography is a factor for me.
I have felt belonging in more than one place. Oneonta has of course become a second home to me. I practically live at Latte Lounge and I've run so many miles on the streets of that town that I know it like the back of my hand. I have met so many incredible people and had so many wonderful experiences in Oneonta that it will always be a part of me. I also felt belonging in San Francisco when I spent the summer of 2013 there. I felt truly comfortable and at home in the city's culture and atmosphere. I thrived there.
Your 20s are a confusing time.
It has been said time and time again, but it's true. College and your 20s are a super confusing time full of fear, uncertainty and self-doubt. Studying abroad has helped me learn so much about myself, but has also left me more confused than ever. Maybe during this last month and a half I'll have some sort of revelation about where my life is headed, but most likely not.
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It's 1:30 pm on a Friday in Oslo. It's a beautifully sunny Fall day that I should be taking advantage of. Days like today are numbered here. But I slept until 9:45 (which is late for me) and haven't left my flat yet. After an 11 day/3 city visit from my parents and a week of classes, I need this break. I spent the morning responding to emails from friends, family, and faculty at Oneonta. Now, I'm on my second cup of coffee, listening to the new Bring Me The Horizon album, hoping I can find a ticket to their sold out Oslo show happening in a few weeks (not likely). I should really be studying Norwegian, but I've wanted to write this blog post for a while. I haven't posted in three weeks so it feels good to get back into it. Those who know me well know the up and down relationship I've had with food and exercise over the past 5 or 6 years. When I started to put on weight in high school, I started running. I hated it. I told myself I'd never like running, but I'd do it to stay in shape. I can still remember how amazing I felt when I ran my first continuous mile. After 5 years of running and two half-marathons, saying that running one mile felt amazing to me sounds funny, but there was a time when running one mile without stopping was my biggest goal. Since then, I've obviously broken my promise to myself. I don't hate running anymore. In fact, I can't imagine my life without it. Running is part of who I am and I'm so grateful that I'm physically able to do it. During my senior year of high school, I used the Weight Watchers Points system and the gym to lose about 20 pounds. It helped that my friend Kate and I consistently worked out together and encouraged each other in our fitness journeys. I was incredibly healthy. College, however, posed some challenges. Despite being determined to keep the weight off, I gained 14 of the "Freshman 15." I lost it all the following summer and maintained my weight the following year by being hyper aware of what I was eating and getting up at 7:15 every morning to workout before class. During this year, running 9 miles without stopping became rather normal for me. I had come a long way from only being able to run from street corner to street corner at age 16. In May of sophomore year, I ran my first half-marathon with a time of 2:06:04, nine minutes faster than my goal time. Then I moved to San Francisco for the summer, ready for new adventures, new experiences, and new food. I lived a balanced lifestyle that summer, allowing myself to eat out or try new foods more often than I had during the past year of school. I stopped weighing myself and was generally comfortable with my health because I ran 2-3 miles each morning, walked to and from my internship (a total of 5 miles each day), and ate a pretty balanced diet. However, I still thought about food and exercise a lot. I was in a pretty good place. I wasn't over exercising or extremely restricting my diet, both things that I had done in the past. I decided to continue the habit of not weighing myself as it seemed to improve my mental health. Junior year of college presented more challenges. I overloaded my schedule both semesters, taking 18 credits in the Fall and 21 credits in the Spring so that I would be able to graduate on time with two majors. This was on top of my RA job, social life, involvement in the Outdoor Adventure Club and position as a Student Association Senator. I had less and less time to commit to my physical and mental well being. In addition to my busy schedule, I turned 21. I have never been a binge drinker and rarely drank before turning 21, mainly because of health reasons. It wouldn't have a positive impact on my weight and it most certainly wouldn't help me train for a half-marathon. However, after turning 21, I started drinking more. I had friends who were graduating and I wasn't going to miss out on making memories with them because I was afraid of gaining weight. I was training for another half-marathon, but simply did not have enough time to dedicate to it. I experienced a stress fracture in my foot, which meant not running for 3 weeks and barely making it through the half-marathon. A week or so after the race, I slipped on wet porch steps and bruised my lower back to the point where putting on socks was painful. After that started to heal up, I stubbed my toe so badly that I couldn't run for a few days. I have struggled on and off with shin splints over the years, but this was the first time since I started running that I had to force myself to take multiple days off at a time. I wasn't mentally prepared for this and it ended up being the hardest year of my fitness journey (which I consider a lifelong journey) so far. I have learned that I have an irrational need to be in control of my life at all times and I felt like that control was slipping away from me. I didn't want to leave for study abroad with such a bad attitude about my health. Study abroad is a once in a lifetime experience. No one wants to spend their time abroad worrying about how many calories they're consuming or whether or not they'll be able to fit in a workout that day. So I did things to help change my attitude. I did some reading and experimented with things like food journals and writing how I felt. I learned a lot about mindfulness and mental health and I am always striving to be more mindful in all aspects of my life. I started my study abroad journey mentally strong, but of course have experienced high points and low points since then. I still exercise almost every day and eat pretty healthy in my day-to-day life. I have gotten better at not being so hard on myself when I splurge on something unhealthy, go out for drinks, or skip a day of working out because I'm traveling. You have to try really hard to not be so hard on yourself in order to maintain a positive mental state and fully enjoy the present moment. Recently, a friend of a friend who I am friends with on Facebook (did I say "friend" enough?) named Abby posted a before and after photo of her physical transformation after following a 30 day diet and exercise plan. Her before photo was taken when she was studying abroad in Italy. I decided to reach out to her to ask her about her advice for health conscious travelers. Specifically, I asked her how she stayed relatively healthy while abroad, what her mindset was like, how she got back on track at home, and any advice she might have for others. Here's what she had to say: "The most important way to stay consistent in your journey is to be healthy mentally first then physically will come. My advice to staying in shape abroad is to spend your money on meaningful experiences not alcohol. I mean you may only be in these amazing countries and iconic cities once in your life--you should want to remember these experiences fully. I barely drank in Italy when I studied abroad because I wanted to spend my money on surfing 4 days in Spain and canyon jumping in Switzerland, etc...not alcohol. Food is relatively healthy abroad, so make choices knowing you are eating the food of that culture and feeling more deep in a certain customs roots. Food abroad is amazing and you should try everything, even if it's a fish head or something haha, It's worth it. My mindset abroad and just in life, is try everything once, be open to new conversations and experiences and don't let fear of the unknown stop you from being adventurous and just going for it. Some of my greatest memories are just from saying yes and trying something new. Abroad is the perfect opportunity to do this."
Did I know that Oslo was an expensive city before I chose to study abroad here? Yes. Did I realize what that would mean for me as a student trying to live on a modest budget? No. I didn't stress a lot about how expensive Oslo is until I got here. The reason being that I didn't want to think about it anymore than I already was. Almost every time I told someone where I was going, their first response was "It's supposedly crazy expensive." or "Do you know how expensive it is?" or "Should have picked somewhere cheaper." I could have gone somewhere cheaper and that has become a sarcastic joke made by many international students here. But the reality is, we all picked Oslo for our own reasons. Some for purely academic reasons, some because of Norway's natural beauty and accessibility to nature, some to go somewhere new and different (other than central Europe), and some for a combination of these reasons and/or others. The one thing we can all bond over is the fact that none of us are benefiting from a great currency exchange. I haven't met a single international student who finds Oslo to be more affordable than their home country or city. We're all in this together! Now that I've been here for almost two months, I think I have some pretty good advice about how to live in Oslo without going broke. Everyone is different in terms of tastes, preferences, and priorities. We all spend our money differently, but I have some pointers that everyone can benefit from. 1. Food (Specifically Groceries)
2. Alcohol
3. Coffee
4. Cultural Attractions
5. Clothes, Kitchen Utensils, Room Decorations, Trinkets, etc.
6. Travelling (Within Norway & to Other Countries)
7. Keeping Track of Finances
8. Exercising
It's Possible!Living in Oslo can be financially discouraging at times, but you don't have to go broke to enjoy your time here. Enjoying what Oslo, Norway, and surrounding countries have to offer can be done on a student's budget if you are smart and plan ahead. You are living what you will remember as one of the greatest experiences of your life. You don't want to always be stressed about money. Be smart, be creative, and make the most of your experience here!
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